No man escapes the cloud of calamity; sooner or later, each is confined by some trials that must be endured or escaped. What I am now is not a genuine guarantee of my past. It is nothing but a sort of constitutive element that does not at all defy this tragic captivity in the world of ludicrousness. In the general sense, the whole of my human existence is nothing but an arena of trials and struggles, taking place in the atmosphere of captivity that must be endured until confrontations take into account; only then will final liberation materializes.
Life is nothing but a struggle to unchain myself from being encumbered to the seemingly endless paradoxical human situation. Perplexity scorns me whenever this thought sneaks into my mind. Reality is so intimidating that I am afraid to relate the little knowledge that I knew. Things are just too recondite for me to grasp, which gave me the license to rationalize life as likened to a pinakbet where varieties of condiments and vegetables are there and its just up for me to choose what to take in. everything is just encapsulated in the realm of absurdity. (I was just too naïve right then)
My experience to the world imbibed me more knowledge and thus I saw a glimmering light of hope in achieving what I really wanted; to now what I ought to know. Yet that light is still far from my grasp and as I come closer, as I think I am, it keeps going farther. I studied, I prayed, I played, I ate, I slept, I experienced what is it to be in this world yet I never gain the perfection I have always been longing for.
I freely let myself be taken cared of by different mentors. I was a holy (?) prisoner for years and indeed, I can proudly say, I enjoyed life. I was scolded, I was punished, I was disregarded at times, I was scorned, I was ignored, I was hated, but more than that, I was cared, I was taught, I was recognized, I was helped, I was given chances, I was praised, and most of all, I was given concern and love.
After all, this brought about the transition of my naïve understanding of what life really is. I was struck to realize that existence is not imprisoned into a box of paradox. I am not, after all, encumbered in the chain of negativities, for life is all that is. Perfection, which I perceived to be the key to real happiness, is not at all that is. Perfection of life does not at all brings happiness but rather, I realize that a happiness brings perfection to life. After all those struggles, after all those moments of reflection, life remains in the context of love. Love is the confrontation of those things that bothers me and it is this same love that will set me free from this realm of confusions. True love is not a matter of holding on to my old beliefs… but sometimes it is in letting go that I come to understand more. Whatever pains and sorrows it may bring… I have to embrace it for that is how I come to learn.
I am yet to close my door to open other possibilities that awaits me. I am so grateful that after all, I became who I am now because of my past, but as they say, perhaps it would be a pleasure to remember these things someday. For my life is totally different from my yesteryears. I am not the same person who viewed his life as absurd. I am who I am now. After all, to realize beyond discursive knowledge, properly so called a superior awareness in which my beings finds itself presented in its integrity and which transcends the abstract statement with which pure intelligence is obliged to be satisfied (from Gabriel Marcel), thus, life is but a mystery to unveil through experiences yet I am sure, life is a journey not traveled in the road of absurdity but in the road of happiness… of faith hope and love… after all, this is me, this is my life for I am the master of my fate and I am the captain of my soul.
Life is nothing but a struggle to unchain myself from being encumbered to the seemingly endless paradoxical human situation. Perplexity scorns me whenever this thought sneaks into my mind. Reality is so intimidating that I am afraid to relate the little knowledge that I knew. Things are just too recondite for me to grasp, which gave me the license to rationalize life as likened to a pinakbet where varieties of condiments and vegetables are there and its just up for me to choose what to take in. everything is just encapsulated in the realm of absurdity. (I was just too naïve right then)
My experience to the world imbibed me more knowledge and thus I saw a glimmering light of hope in achieving what I really wanted; to now what I ought to know. Yet that light is still far from my grasp and as I come closer, as I think I am, it keeps going farther. I studied, I prayed, I played, I ate, I slept, I experienced what is it to be in this world yet I never gain the perfection I have always been longing for.
I freely let myself be taken cared of by different mentors. I was a holy (?) prisoner for years and indeed, I can proudly say, I enjoyed life. I was scolded, I was punished, I was disregarded at times, I was scorned, I was ignored, I was hated, but more than that, I was cared, I was taught, I was recognized, I was helped, I was given chances, I was praised, and most of all, I was given concern and love.
After all, this brought about the transition of my naïve understanding of what life really is. I was struck to realize that existence is not imprisoned into a box of paradox. I am not, after all, encumbered in the chain of negativities, for life is all that is. Perfection, which I perceived to be the key to real happiness, is not at all that is. Perfection of life does not at all brings happiness but rather, I realize that a happiness brings perfection to life. After all those struggles, after all those moments of reflection, life remains in the context of love. Love is the confrontation of those things that bothers me and it is this same love that will set me free from this realm of confusions. True love is not a matter of holding on to my old beliefs… but sometimes it is in letting go that I come to understand more. Whatever pains and sorrows it may bring… I have to embrace it for that is how I come to learn.
I am yet to close my door to open other possibilities that awaits me. I am so grateful that after all, I became who I am now because of my past, but as they say, perhaps it would be a pleasure to remember these things someday. For my life is totally different from my yesteryears. I am not the same person who viewed his life as absurd. I am who I am now. After all, to realize beyond discursive knowledge, properly so called a superior awareness in which my beings finds itself presented in its integrity and which transcends the abstract statement with which pure intelligence is obliged to be satisfied (from Gabriel Marcel), thus, life is but a mystery to unveil through experiences yet I am sure, life is a journey not traveled in the road of absurdity but in the road of happiness… of faith hope and love… after all, this is me, this is my life for I am the master of my fate and I am the captain of my soul.
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